Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
