I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
