if i can run in heels then i can drive
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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