Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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