Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
why do cheetos always look like penises
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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