i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
