I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
