watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
