Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
