yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
