He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
