I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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