Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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