I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
