1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
