ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Randomize
