I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
