he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
