after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
