he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
