Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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