Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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