saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
