erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
