I have demons in me.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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