i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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