Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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