I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize