it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
