you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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