sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
