it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Randomize
