the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
