i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
