You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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