Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
