ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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