So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
