Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
