you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
