Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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