We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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