Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
