Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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