well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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