apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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