I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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