Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
kristin has been a bad kristin
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
