dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
