I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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