did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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