At least make sure they are 18
Why
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
