TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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