There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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