Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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