That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
