just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
