I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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