Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
