Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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