At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize