He uses pillows to masturbate.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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