Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize