She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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