is your mom at the bar?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize