I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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